Somebody should have known better.
Now you don't trust they care.
THE MOMENT PASSES. THE MISERY DOES NOT
Don't let the misery of a Should-Know-Better Conflict keep you stuck for years, bottling entitled feelings, unable to tell them what you know, need, or care about, without regret, blame, or shame.​​
Clear The Air Without Regret, Blame Or Shame.
BURP
Care-In-Action conversations that clear the air, know together, and actually do better.
"Being BURPED opened my heart and mind to THE question that became the segue into our healing as a family. And, for this, I'll be forever grateful..."
MOTHER OF TWO. TWO YEARS OF FAMILY RECKONING. ONE HOUR CONVERSATION.
How I came to BURP
Hello, I'm Gretchen
For over 30 years, I’ve had one-hour conversations with more than 4,000 people who lived with with the misery of a Should-Know-Better Conflict because they couldn’t pick a paint color. I coined it an SKBC. I helped them know what they needed and trust themselves to confidently paint what they love, without regret, blame or shame. It worked 99% of the time. Then I began to wonder if the same conversation would work without the bucket of paint and a palette of words instead..
It did.
Proof of Care
It’s a baby-proof world.
A baby’s miserable feelings signal an unmet need.
We look for it, like stuck air ,until we find it.
When we burp the baby, the need is met, and the misery lifts.
This non-reciprocal exchange is the reason all babies grow up expecting people to know better and care, until they can care for themselves, and others.
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Misery is the antibody.
As adults, when somebody we trust should have known better and didn’t, and we lose trust and confidence that they care, we become miserable asa baby, unable to express to tell them what they need to know without regret, blame or shame, so we hold our breath instead.
We vent for validation.
Indulge in imaginary conversations we never have.
Discuss "entitled feelings" in therapy for years.
Care, the anti-hero.
We are wired by a "Care Reflex" that never stops firing. Being entitled to our feelings does not uncover or meet the need behind them.
Our job is to look for unmet needs, like stuck air, until we find them. Then meet them in the name of care.
When we BURP, misery lifts, needs are met and we prove people care.
That is Care-In-Action.
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9 SEATS AT THE TABLE
Misery will not be served at the table this year.
The BURP Parlez Salon
CLEAR THE AIR. KNOW BETTER, CARE TOGETHER.
Proof-of-Care Conversations To know together, and actually do better.
Clear the air.
Bring a Should-Know-Better conflict you can’t get past.
Know better.
Discover the unmet need beneath the misery, and what you need to know.
Do better together.
Make Care-In-Action plan to meet needs for trust and confidence.
Not care-free. Free to care.
THE DAYLIGHT LIBRARY
The Research Behind BURP
Books and studies that back up what babies already know, ranked by how strong the proof is.
APPLE ORANGE
Fruitful Thoughts
Tasty Discourses
We are born to know and destined to care. Belong, become, bare what we know
BURP PARLEZ SALON
Prove Every Day People Care.
Our rule is a Golden Rule: Care-In-Action, the crazy little thing we came to do, called love.